魔法少女まどかマギカ（Puella Magi Madoka Magica）第6話 “こんなの絶対おかしいよ" の英語スクリプトです。
Kyoko: Game over!
Madoka: Homura…? But…
Kyoko: It’s you. Okay, hold it, how did you do that?
Kyoko: Oh, now I get it. You’re that “irregularity" I heard about. You got a weird technique, don’t ya?
Sayaka: Stay out of our way!
Kyubey: She’s all right. She just passed out.
Kyoko: What the heck? Whose side are you on, anyway?
Homura: I’m on the side of those who think rationally, and the enemy of idiots who pick fights. I wonder which you belong to, Kyoko Sakura?
Kyoko: Have we met somewhere before?
Homura: Perhaps. Who knows?
Kyoko: Okay, Mystery Girl, you keep your secrets. Today’s a wash anyway. I’m outta here.
Homura: Good idea.
Madoka: You saved Sayaka. But I thought you…
Homura: How many times have I warned you? How stupid can you possibly be? I thought I made it clear you were not to get involved. I don’t know why you keep annoying me.
Madoka: It’s not that I…
Homura: If I can’t reason with you, I’ll use more drastic measures.
Madoka: She can’t mean it, can she?
Kyubey: One thing’s for certain, we have to be careful now. She’s planning something…
Kyubey: Aren’t you, Homura Akemi?
Kyubey: You should be okay for a while now.
Sayaka: Oh, it’s totally black!
Kyubey: And now it’s dangerous. If it absorbs any more darkness, a witch could hatch from it.
Kyubey: Don’t worry. Give it to me.
Kyubey: There. Now, we’re safe.
Sayaka: Did you just eat it?
Kyubey: Yes. It’s one of my many duties.
Kyubey: Listen. We have to hurry and find another Grief Seed before your Soul Gem needs to be purified again.
Sayaka: My Soul Gem was just a little cloudy. Is it really that important to keep it clean?
Kyubey: Kyoko Sakura was strong, wasn’t she?
Kyubey: The thing about Grief Seeds are that if you have enough of them, you’ll freely use as much magic as you want. That’s why Kyoko’s so strong.
Sayaka: I can’t do that, letting innocent people get hurt just for I can find more Grief Seeds.
Kyubey: But the more magic you use, the more polluted your Soul Gem will become.
Sayaka, you’ll never defeat Kyoko until you have more Grief Seeds in reserve. That’s the reality of the situation.
Sayaka: Hm… Thanks a lot for the vote of confidence. But, what about Mami? She didn’t have tons of Grief Seeds to keep her Soul Gem clean. She didn’t seem to have any trouble fighting. Why is that? Is it because she was better at it than me?
Kyubey: Oh, she was much more talented.
Sayaka: Aw… That’s so not fair!
Kyubey: You can’t do anything about it. Kyoko has a talent for it, and she’s a veteran. Although, there is someone without any experience at all whose natural talent exceeds Kyoko’s by a wide margin.
Sayaka: Huh? Who are you talking about?
Kyubey: Madoka Kaname.
Sayaka: You’re kidding me? You’re not kidding me.
Kyubey: I’m not. But it puts you in an interesting position. If you are not strong enough to beat Kyoko, you could ask Madoka to do it for you. Provided she makes a contract with me.
Sayaka: Uh-uh. No way. And besides, this is something I gotta do. I’m not gonna let her get dragged into it.
Kyoko: I’m a little busy. What do you want?
Homura: I wanna let you know you can have this city.
Kyoko: What’s up? Why the sudden change of heart?
Homura: A girl like you is more suited for what it takes to be a magical girl. Sayaka Miki is not.
Kyoko: Huh! Tell me something I don’t already know. What happens if she doesn’t agree with you? If I leave her alone, she’s gonna start bugging me again.
Homura: I want to settle this thing peacefully. So, I’d like you to stay out of it. Let me handle her.
Kyoko: You still haven’t told me what I really wanna know. Who are you anyway, huh? What’s in this for you?
Homura: Two weeks from today, a witch called “Walpurgisnacht" will come.
Kyoko: How do you know that?
Homura: That’s my business. Anyway, if we defeat the witch, I will leave this city all to you. You can do whatever you want with it then.
Kyoko: Oh, yeah? Walpurgisnacht, huh? If she’s too tough for one person to beat, we could team up and take her on.
Kyoko: Want some?
Kyubey: It’s no use. Too much time has passed. We can’t trace the familiar from last night.
Madoka: Hey, Sayaka? If you keep doing this, hunting witches and stuff, won’t you run into that girl again?
Sayaka: Yeah, it’s bound to happen some time.
Madoka: Well, I have an idea. Maybe you should find her first and talk to her, you know, to figure out how you can work together. 'Cause if you don’t and you guys meet again, you’ll just get into another fight.
Sayaka: Hold on. A fight? Do you honestly think what happened last night was just a plain old fight?
Sayaka: Well, it wasn’t. That was a bona fide battle to the death for reals. But it didn’t start out that way. That’s for sure. After a while though, with every blow we were trying harder and harder to kill each other.
Madoka: But then that’s… That’s even worse!
Sayaka: Hey, you want me to talk to her? That’s totally nuts! She said she’s okay with letting people becoming witch foods, so she can get more Grief Seeds! There’s no way I get along with someone like that.
Madoka: But Sayaka, you became a magical girl so you can fight witches, didn’t you? She isn’t a witch. She’s a magical girl just like you. Give her a chance. I’m sure you can find a way to work together. Even if she does things differently, you both feel the same way about hunting witches, don’t you? I’m sure she does. And I’m sure Homura does, too. If Mami and Homura would’ve gotten along, maybe Mami would…
Sayaka: You’re kidding, right?! Come on, you were there, Madoka. She waited until that witch killed Mami. Then she shows up like she wants to help. She just wanted Grief Seeds, so she sat back and let Mami die.
Madoka: That’s not what happened.
Sayaka: No, they are both the same, that transfer student and that damn Kyoko girl. They don’t care about anything but themselves. But Mami wasn’t like them. She was the exception to what magical girls are really like. You know what? They’re like those two.
Madoka: No… You’re wrong.
Sayaka: You know, that familiar we saw last night was pretty small, but it could still kill someone. Maybe it’ll come after your dad next, or your mom. What would you do if it came after Tatsuya, huh? Would you be okay with that? Could you forgive anyone who let them die? I didn’t want this power so I can fight witches. I wanted it so I have the strength to do what’s right and protect the ones I love. You get it? If there are people out there who are worse than witches, then I’m gonna fight them. Especially if they’re magical girls.
Madoka: But Sayaka…
Madoka: Kyubey, why don’t you say something?
Kyubey: The only thing I can really say is that she’s behaving recklessly. Sayaka doesn’t have a chance of defeating either Homura Akemi or Kyoko Sakura. Besides, even if I did warn her, do you think she’d listen to me?
[— Eye Catch —]
Junko: Hu…. Can’t sleep, huh?
Madoka: Hm… Can we talk?
Madoka: There’s this friend of mine. She’s in trouble. I don’t think she’s doing or saying anything wrong, but… She keeps trying to do the right thing. But the harder she tries, the worse things get for her…
Junko: Sure, that happens a lot.
Junko: Yes. Sad but true. Just because you keep trying to do the right thing doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed a happy ending. In fact, the more stubborn a person gets about what they think is right, the less happy they are going to be. It’s like they stop being rational all together.
Madoka: It’s not fair to be unhappy. Especially if you’re not doing anything wrong.
Madoka: So then, what do you think I should do?
Junko: Well, at this point, I doubt that it’d end on a happy note no matter what anyone did.
Junko: If the only way to help was to do something drastic, would you do it?
Junko: Then you should do something wrong.
Junko: If she so focused on what she thinks is right, try doing something wrong to snap her out of it.
Madoka: I don’t get it. How?
Junko: You could tell a big fat lie, or chicken out when the going gets tough. You never know, sometimes doing the wrong thing for someone is exactly the right thing to do. If you find yourself at the dead end and there’s no other options left, doing something the wrong way might do the most good.
Madoka: But, will she understand that I’m doing it for her sake? That I’m just trying to help her?
Junko: Well, she might not get it right away. She might even hate you. See what I mean? We’re talking some drastic stuff here. But ask yourself this; what’s better, doing nothing or doing something?
Junko: I have to say I did a good job raising you. You don’t do anything bad. You’ve never told a lie. You always try to do the right thing no matter what. You passed childhood with flying colors. Here’s the thing though, before you grow up, you should learn how to make the right kind of mistakes.
Madoka: How can I? I don’t get it.
Junko: You are still young, so it’s easy to bounce back after getting hurt. If you learn how to take life’s little hits now, it’ll help you later on. See, the older you get, the bigger the consequences are if you mess up. The more responsibilities you have, the less mistakes you’re allowed to make.
Madoka: Hmm… That sounds really hard.
Junko: Yeah, sometimes being an adult can really suck. That’s why we’re allowed to drink alcohol!
Madoka: Hehe. I wanna grow up so bad now, then you and me can go drinking together.
Junko: Well, then you’d better hurry up and get older. Even though it’s not easy, it’s pretty cool to be a grownup.
Nurse: Hi, there. If you’re here for Kyosuke, he’s already been discharged. He was doing so well with his physical therapy, they decided to let him go home early
Sayaka: Oh, okay. Thank you.
Kyoko: You spent all that time looking for him and now you’re just gonna leave without seeing him?
Sayaka: You again.
Kyoko: Uh-huh. So this is where the rich boy lives. He’s the reason you made a contract with Kyubey, right? Seriously? A once-in-a-lifetime chance at having anything you want and you wasted it on that.
Sayaka: What do you know about anything?
Kyoko: I know a lot more than you, dummy! Magic always was and always should be used for one thing to grant wishes for yourself. And if you try using it for any other reason, then it always turns out bad! Don’t tell me, Mami Tomoe didn’t even teach you that simple rule.
Kyoko: If all you want is to get the guy to love you, there’s better ways of doing it. I mean, you’ve got all these magic powers now.
Sayaka: Hold on.
Kyoko: For starters, you could bust in there right now and break his arms and legs so bad, he’ll never be able to use them again.
Kyoko: Make him so helpless, he won’t be able to do anything without you. You do that and he really will be yours and yours alone. Both his body and his soul… How about this? If you don’t got the stomach for it, I could always mess him up for ya. Like a favor between magical girls. It’d be really easy to do.
Sayaka: How dare you… I’m not gonna take that kinda talk from you. We’re gonna end this now.
Kyoko: Let’s go some place quiet. We’d attract too much attention here.
Junko: “If she so focused on what she thinks is right, try doing something wrong to snap her out of it.”
Madoka: Hmm… How am I gonna do that?
Kyubey: Hurry. Sayaka is in danger! Come with me!
Kyoko: We can go all out up here if we want. Come on, give me your best shot!
Madoka: Sayaka! No! Don’t!
Sayaka: What’re you doing? You shouldn’t be here. This has nothing to do with you, so stay back!
Madoka: Come on, think about what you’re doing! This just can’t be right!
Kyoko: Huh! The annoying bitch has an annoying friend. Go figure.
Homura: Well, I wonder what kind of friends you’d have then.
Kyoko: Huh, ch…
Homura: What are you doing? I thought we agreed you’d leave Sayaka Miki alone.
Kyoko: Like your way [???] idea’s gonna teach her any manners. Besides, it’s not like she’s backing down.
Homura: I’ll take her on, then. But you stay out of it. Understand?
Kyoko: Huh. You got 'til I finish eating this. Then it’s on!
Homura: That’s plenty of time.
Sayaka: It won’t be that easy!
Madoka: Sayaka! I’m sorry!
Sayaka: Madoka! Why’d you do that?!
Madoka: But if I didn’t, then you would’ve… Sayaka?
Kyubey: Oh, Madoka. That was really bad.
Kyubey: What’s wrong with you? Are you out of your mind? How could you throw your friend away like that?
Madoka: What did you say? What do you mean? No, stop!
Kyoko: What the hell is going on here? What is this? She’s dead!
Madoka: Sayaka? Hey, Sayaka! Come on, wake up! Wake up! Say something. What’s wrong? Hey! I don’t want this… Sayaka!
Kyoko: What the hell is going on around here? Hey!
Kyubey: There’s a limit to how far a magical girl can be from her body. If it’s beyond one hundred meters, you lose control of it.
Kyoko: What does that mean? A hundred meters? What are you talking about?
Kyubey: This kind of thing rarely happens, so I’m not surprised you find it disturbing. Most of the time, you’re being carried around with your bodies.
Madoka: What are you saying, Kyubey?! You have to help her! Please don’t let Sayaka die!
Kyubey: Hu… Madoka, that isn’t Sayaka. It’s just an empty shell.
Kyubey: It’s true, you just threw her off the bridge one minute ago.
Kyoko: What’d you say?
Kyubey: Did you honestly think I’d like you girls fight witches using those fragile human bodies of yours? That’s impossible. For magical girls, the so called “bodies" you used to be housed in are nothing more than exterior hardware now. Your souls are your real bodies. It’s placed inside the compact vessel, where they’re easier to protect, and where you can control your magic more efficiently. Making that happen is part of my job when I recruit magical girls. I take a person’s soul from their body and turn it into a Soul Gem.
Kyoko: You bastard… What have you done…? You scumbag! You’ve turned us into zombies! Is that what happened?!
Kyubey: But isn’t that more convenient? If your heart explodes or you bleed out every last drop of blood, no matter what happens, you just heal your bodies with magic and get up again. As long as your Soul Gem doesn’t get damaged, you’re basically invincible. Isn’t it better to have that in a fight than be trapped in the body prone to failure?
Madoka: That’s horrible. That’s horrible!
Kyubey: It never fails. Whenever I tell you humans this simple facts, you always react the same way. It makes no sense at all! Why are you humans so sensitive about the kind of container that souls are housed in?
Sayaka: What’s up? What happened?